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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Food Allergies Overdiagnosed

A new report from the federal government shows that many people who think they have food allergies actually do not. What do you think?

  • "Well, there goes the sole topic of conversation I can bring to parties."

    Cathy Johnson Systems Analyst
  • "I feel so sorry for all those people who died of asphyxiation from being gullible."

    Jim Lewis Face Layer
  • "Shh! Don't tell my immune system. I need my immune system to be on edge, all the time."

    JJ Lunsford Magazine-Delivery Driver

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