adBlockCheck

Recent News

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
End Of Section
  • More News

Football Players Suffering Brain Damage

Doctors have found a type of brain damage usually associated with boxers in six NFL players who died at age 50 or younger. What do you think?
  • "I've always said that players shouldn't be allowed onto the football field unless they've been doing rigorous exercises to toughen the brain."

    Chad Flaherty Flooring Sales Representative
  • "If I'd known professional football was so dangerous, I never would have let my son join the Atlanta Falcons."

    Matt Pergament Public Relations
  • "Perhaps they should sign a waiver indicating they are willing to take the risk in exchange for, say, tens of millions of dollars."

    Francis Judson IT Specialist

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close