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Former Fugee's Haiti Charity Under Scrutiny

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‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.

National Security Experts: ‘ISIS Are Fucking Assholes’

WASHINGTON—Updating the public about the deadly attacks carried out in Brussels yesterday by members of the Syria-based jihadist group, national security experts held a press conference in Washington this morning to notify Americans that ISIS are fucking assholes.
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Former Fugee's Haiti Charity Under Scrutiny

In the wake of the recent earthquake, a Haiti charity run by rapper Wyclef Jean is under fire for its unusually high administrative costs and allegedly spending money on Jean's for-profit businesses. What do you think?
  • "Fortunately, I've been donating to the legitimate charity run by fellow Fugee Pras, which provides food, water, and temporary shelter to Pras."

    Carla Hawkins Stone Setter
  • "I'd rather give my earthquake relief money to Jean's charity than to Doctors Without Borders. A borderless doctor strikes me as unseemly."

    LaMont Turner Systems Analyst
  • "Didn't anyone tell him that in the wake of tragedies musicians are supposed to write shitty songs and film black-and-white PSAs?"

    Beau Jones Quarter-Section Ironer

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