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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Former RNC Chair Comes Out As Gay

Ken Mehlman, the head of the 2004 Bush re-election campaign and former chair of the Republican National Committee has come out to his associates and friends as being gay. What do you think?

  • "God, my homophobia feels so used now."

    Quentin Harris Shaper Setter
  • "Sometimes it takes you a while to realize who you really are. I mean, it was only last week that I finally admitted to myself that I was Deputy Director of Finance for a midsized East Coast municipality."

    Andrea Pezzola Health Inspector
  • "It was worth orchestrating the 2004 gay marriage debate if it got him out of overcomitting to his boyfriend."

    Paul Crosby Sample Driller

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