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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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France Says Prepare For Iran War

France's Foreign Minister, Bernard Kouchner said that the world must prepare for the prospect of war if Iran obtains nuclear weapons. What do you think?
  • "This is, uh, how you say 'bad?'"

    Pierre Duchamp Waiter
  • "The French should lure Iran with their rich, cream-heavy foods, then attack from within."

    Jenny Klipstein Wedding Planner
  • "Finally. It's about time they quit being so French about everything."

    Travis Cullum Graffiti Remover
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