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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Franken Leaves Air America

Al Franken will be leaving the radio network Air America on February 14. What do you think?
  • "I'm sorry–who is leaving what?"

    Curtis Hoyt Financial Planner
  • "I suppose I'll have to turn elsewhere for my biting liberal commentary. Does Tim Meadows have a talk radio show?"

    Leticia Veriglio Doula
  • "That's corporate radio for you. Always trying to keep the little millionaire down."

    Todd Haber Extruding Machine Operator

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