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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Freeze-Resistant Cockroaches Invade Manhattan

A particularly hardy species of Asian cockroach known as Periplaneta japonica, which can withstand freezing temperatures and winter conditions, has been found in Manhattan, its first confirmed presence in the United States. What do you think?

  • “Great, just another thing obnoxious New Yorkers get to brag about.”

    Curtis Toth Computer Salesman
  • “Never heard of it, and I’ve been freezing bugs for a while.”

    Leona Wolf Rug Weaver
  • “Takashi made it alive to New York! Yay!”

    Ken Okita Carpenter
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