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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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French Magazine Runs Muhammad Cartoons

The Paris-based satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo published cartoons today that depict the Prophet Muhammad naked, drawing criticism from the French government, which has shut down embassies and schools in 20 countries as a precautionary measure. What do you think?

  • “No way it could be half as offensive as the latest Marmaduke. I mean, is there anything that dog won’t chew on?”

    Shari Wittle Sheetrock Installer
  • “I hope it’s funny enough to cheer me up from all the deaths it’ll cause.”

    Joseph Ronay Mounted Police Officer
  • “The more everyone says not to draw Muhammad, the more nervous I get that I’m going to doodle him by accident."

    Curtis Grasmere Systems Analyst
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