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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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French President Receives New Camel After First Eaten

The government of Mali will give French president Francois Hollande a “bigger and better-looking” camel as a gift for France’s help in defeating Muslim rebels after the original camel, which Hollande left with a family in Timbuktu, was promptly killed and eaten in a stew. What do you think?

  • “Great, now you’ve got me all hungry for camel.”

    Spiro Heuer Electrician
  • “I’m a little confused about the etiquette here. How long can someone leave their camel at your house before you’re allowed to eat it?”

    Rosalie Heitman Jukebox Servicer
  • “See, that’s why I always make sure to keep a close watch on my camel, because otherwise—oh, no, Annabelle!”

    Ernie Gallavan Septic Tank Installer
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