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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Fruit Flies Seek Out Alcohol

An Emory University study published in the journal Current Biology shows that common fruit flies often seek out fermented fruit for nourishment in order to self-medicate against the threat of deadly parasitic wasps. What do you think?

  • “That’s fine, as long as they’re not flying anywhere for awhile.”

    Arturo de Sá Dresser Tender
  • “I'm sure at least some of those flies also drink because of their crippling depression.”

    Susan Hall Spice Cleaner
  • “That’s bullshit. Any time I’ve lobbed fireworks at a wasp nest, being drunk never protected me.”

    Brian Matthews Grip Assembler
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