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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Gabby Giffords Tells Congress To Act On Gun Control

Former Arizona representative Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot in the head in 2011, delivered the opening remarks yesterday at a congressional hearing on gun violence that later featured testimony from NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre. What do you think?

  • “Come on. If everyone who got shot felt the need to speak to Congress about gun control, we’d never hear the end of it.”

    Janet Mooney Unemployed
  • “Think of the courage, strength, and determination it took to come back and address the nation like LaPierre did after these shootings.”

    Larry Campisi Block Maker
  • “Until I hear the side of a deranged mass shooter I don’t know what to think.”

    Alonzo Marshall Herbarium Curator

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