adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
End Of Section
  • More News

Gay Adoption

Rosie O'Donnell, an adoptive parent and newly out lesbian, called Florida's and President Bush's opposition to gay adoption "wrong." What do you think?
  • "Rosie O'Donnell and her kind should not be allowed to adopt. You have no idea how bad it fucks kids up to be raised by celebrities."

    George Kiehl Truck Driver
  • "You know, maybe gay adoption will scare conservatives enough that they'll consider safe, legal abortion as an alternative."

    Wendy Mota Physical Therapist
  • "The law needs to make a distinction here. Are we talking regular gay or whoo-hoo-fabulous gay?"

    Chris Chance Prep Cook
  • "As long as they're closeted gays, I have no problem with it."

    Dan Durkee Bond Trader
  • "Homosexuals should be allowed to adopt kids, but they should not be allowed to molest them. I firmly believe that."

    David Whitten Systems Analyst
  • "The last thing we need is to put children in the hands of people who actually want them."

    Roberta Diamond Teacher

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close