adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Gay Adoption

Rosie O'Donnell, an adoptive parent and newly out lesbian, called Florida's and President Bush's opposition to gay adoption "wrong." What do you think?
  • "Rosie O'Donnell and her kind should not be allowed to adopt. You have no idea how bad it fucks kids up to be raised by celebrities."

    George Kiehl Truck Driver
  • "You know, maybe gay adoption will scare conservatives enough that they'll consider safe, legal abortion as an alternative."

    Wendy Mota Physical Therapist
  • "The law needs to make a distinction here. Are we talking regular gay or whoo-hoo-fabulous gay?"

    Chris Chance Prep Cook
  • "As long as they're closeted gays, I have no problem with it."

    Dan Durkee Bond Trader
  • "Homosexuals should be allowed to adopt kids, but they should not be allowed to molest them. I firmly believe that."

    David Whitten Systems Analyst
  • "The last thing we need is to put children in the hands of people who actually want them."

    Roberta Diamond Teacher
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings