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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Gay Cowboy Film Buzz

Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee's controversial gay cowboy film, is generating Oscar buzz. What do you think?
  • "I'm not sure I understand what all the hubbub is about. Wait, one of them isn't black, is he?"

    Kelly Neese Waitress
  • "It's just sick, really. I'm taking my family to the movie where the lady cock-teases that gorilla."

    Gary Alexander Systems Analyst
  • "I'm sorry, but you couldn't pay me to see a movie about love."

    Sean Byrne Saucier

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