Gay Marriage Could Be Profitable

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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

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Gay Marriage Could Be Profitable

According to a report from the city's comptroller, New York City would stand to gain $142 million in the first three years of legalized gay marriage. What do you think?
  • "Why? Does buying a gay melon baller at Tiffany's cost more than buying a straight melon baller at Tiffany's?"

    Katharine Epperson
    Video Editor
  • "$142 million! Boy, they really know how to pull an old conservative Republican's heart-strings!"

    Andre Milstead
    Drayman
  • "The city needn't permit something so crass and immoral to raise money. May I suggest legalized gambling as an alternative?"

    Harris Charles
    Systems Analyst