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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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General Calls Homosexuality 'Immoral'

Marine Gen. Peter Pace, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Chicago Tribune that he considered homosexuality "immoral." What do you think?
  • "Eh—he said the same thing about peace talks and leaving civilian populations intact."

    Karen Bowen Home Health Care Assistant
  • "He's just pandering. He told the Miami Herald that he thinks homosexuality is a rocking good time."

    Wayne Coopey Systems Analyst
  • "That's weird. Based on their outfits and tight, muscular chests, I assumed the armed forces were ALL gay."

    Peter Johnston Landscaper

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