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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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George Stephanopoulos Offered 'Good Morning America' Job

Former adviser to President Clinton and television host George Stephanopoulos has been offered a job as co-anchor of Good Morning America. What do you think?
  • "Just when you thought morning news shows couldn't have any more gravitas and dignity."

    Walt Swarts Systems Analyst
  • "I've been saying it for years: if you give George Stephanopoulos one day, sooner or later he's going to take the whole damn week."

    Ramona Eickelberg Unemployed
  • "Well, he does have all the credentials: He loves America, and he has nice teeth."

    Jonathan Hageman Telephone Lineman

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