George Zimmerman’s Wife Files For Divorce

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CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

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SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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George Zimmerman’s Wife Files For Divorce

Shellie Zimmerman filed for divorce from her husband of seven years, George Zimmerman, who was recently acquitted in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, claiming that he is verbally abusive, selfish, and that she’s not sure she “ever really knew him at all.” What do you think?

  • “How much freedom can one guy get?”

    Javier Francisco Systems Analyst
  • “Hold on. We shouldn’t jump to any conclusions until we hear his side of the story.”

    Brett Machado Brick Salesman
  • “Batman could never make marriage work either.”

    Eileen Costello Spelunking Instructor


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