adBlockCheck

Recent News

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
End Of Section
  • More News

Georgia's Evolution Stickers

Last week, a U.S. district judge ordered a Georgia school district to remove stickers reading, "Evolution is a theory, not a fact" from its textbooks. What do you think?
  • "The thing is, they're right. Evolution is nothing more than a well-supported, predictive, scientifically rigorous theory."

    Jered Garza Driver
  • "If you don't believe in creationism, then how do you explain the fact that I do, smart guy?"

    Carlton Fuller Teacher
  • "Good. Now could New York please take the sticker off my literature textbook that says Surrealism is just a school of thought often in conflict with Abstractism?"

    Melanie Burton Systems Analyst
  • "Maybe now a judge will press Georgia schools to remove the 'Mr. Yuk' stickers from books by black authors."

    Susan McKinney Painter
  • "Man, I gotta get one of those stickers for my guitar case. That'd be awesome."

    Danny Hale Plumber
  • "I hope they replaced the old stickers with new ones that read, 'Do not burn.'"

    Brad Dawson Novelist

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close