German Thieves Steal 5.5 Tons Of Nutella

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

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German Thieves Steal 5.5 Tons Of Nutella

Thieves in the town Bad Hersfeld, Germany stole five and a half tons of the chocolate-hazelnut spread Nutella from a parked semi truck trailer, a heist valued at over $20,000. What do you think?

  • “I love Nutella as much as anyone, but I can’t imagine myself ever stealing more than a ton of it.”

    Trudy Haack
    Garment Inspector
  • “Boy, it’s going to be impossible to launder all that Nutella.”

    Keith Melazzo
    Projectionist
  • “Yet another stain on the Fatherland.”

    Falco Bachmeier
    Crop Scientist
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