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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Germany To Ban Scientology

Germany’s interior minister called the Church of Scientology "an unconstitutional organization" and said the nation is seeking to ban the group. What do you think?
  • "I hope the Germans can gird themselves to live in a world without Kirstie Alley."

    Alicia Klaffky Wedding Cake Designer
  • "He sounds angry. Perhaps he'd like to meet with some nice friends of mine and explain his feelings while being hooked up to a fake machine."

    Marcus Washington Mortician
  • "This is, without question, the worst instance of religious persecution Germany has ever authorized."

    Ted Berg Systems Analyst

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