Giant Hornets Terrorize Central China

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Giant Hornets Terrorize Central China

The Chinese province of Shaanxi has been devastated by Asian giant hornets, which are the size of a human thumb and have venom capable of causing kidney failure, with hornet attacks hospitalizing over 200 citizens and injuring nearly 1,500 more this year. What do you think?

  • “I suppose if there’s a silver lining to be found in this, it’s that it doesn’t affect me.”

    Nathaniel Friedlander
    Wheelbarrow Maker
  • “Leave it to Shaanxi to get themselves infested with a bunch of hornets.”

    Mona Delmonico
    Library Science Professor
  • “Good. Now when I’m asked about the size of my thumb, I have something to compare it to.”

    Shane Myrick