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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Giant, Voracious Snails Invade Florida

South Florida is struggling to deal with an infestation of invasive giant African land snails, which can grow to the size of rats, readily consume over 500 native species, and are known to enjoy chewing on the stucco common to Florida’s housing. What do you think?

  • “I say we cut our losses and just give Florida to the snails.”

    Anderson Grier Missionary
  • “They seem like go-getters wanting their piece of the American dream. Who are any of us to stop them?”

    Nadia Jenkinson Parachute Mender
  • “I’m with the snails. Stucco is delicious.”

    Donald Priestley Barber
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