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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Gibson Sues Over Guitar Hero

Guitar maker Gibson is suing MTV Networks and Electronic Arts, stating that the company has not been paid for a patent it owns for virtual guitar playing. What do you think?
  • "Finally, the name Gibson will be synonymous with fake guitars."

    Cassie Binnis Systems Analyst
  • "Now that I think of it, Capcom never paid me a dime for the patent I hold for virtual street fighting."

    Tim Bradley Janitor
  • "Excuse me, but after last week's championship game at Ray's Creekside Tavern, I believe it is I who owns Guitar Hero."

    Bruce LaSaard Elevator Installer
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