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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Gilmore Drops Out Of Race

James Gilmore III has ended his campaign to be the Republican candidate for president in 2008. What do you think?
  • "Well, I guess the 'nobodies no one's ever heard of' vote is up for grabs again."

    Fernando Ortiz Packager
  • "Hope he realizes Pfizer's going to want its $50 back."

    Patricia Noble Taxi Driver
  • "Looks like America has already spoken. We will take nothing less than a black man, a white woman, or a non-Gilmore white man as President."

    Ron Brown Translator

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