Gingrich Loses Top Advisers

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Vol 47 Issue 24

Dressing Up For Going Out

It's always hard to decide what to wear when you're going out for the evening. Here are some ways to look your best for a night on the town:  

Nation's Dads Treated To Mark Knopfler Meet-And-Greet

CHICAGO—In what many were calling "the best Father's Day present ever," the nation's dads were treated to a Mark Knopfler meet-and-greet Thursday, spending several minutes chatting and posing for photos with the former Dire Straits frontma...

Partygoer Gets Thoughtful

LAFAYETTE, LA—At approximately 11:20 P.M. Friday night, the festive attitude of local partygoer Nathan Daniels, 34, suddenly gave way to a more thoughtful and introspective mood, witnesses reported.

'America's Most Wanted' Canceled

After 23 years on the air, America's Most Wanted—the Fox show that dramatizes real crimes in order to assist in the capture of suspects—will no longer air as a weekly program.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Gingrich Loses Top Advisers

Several of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich's top campaign aides resigned Thursday, putting the future of his presidential bid in doubt. What do you think?

  • "Interesting. Maybe I'll vote for him now that he's under new management."

    Morgan Fraser
    Rotary-Driller Feeder
  • "He was being advised that whole time? Oh, boy."

    Jill Baldursson
    Back Tufter
  • "It's just awful. I heard these people, whom Newt adored and trusted with all his heart, walked out on him for Tim Pawlenty, a younger, sexier candidate. I can't think of anything that Newt Gingrich did in his life to deserve a punishment like this."

    Lawrence Gomel
    Systems Analyst
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