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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Gingrich Photo Op: $50

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich is charging supporters $50 to pose for a photo with him. What do you think?

  • "Pricey, sure, but just think how impressed your grandkids will be when they see a picture of you with some guy."

    Brian Offer Base Filler
  • "Is there a surcharge if I bring along a couple sombreros for us to wear?"

    Katie Wilson Open-Developer Operator
  • "Gingrich is so creative when it comes to paying down debts, we'd be stupid not to elect him president."

    Gary Andreoni Head Teller

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