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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Giuliani's Son Suing Duke Over Golf

Andrew Giuliani is suing Duke University after being recruited for, then removed from, the Duke University golf team. What do you think?
  • "Does Duke even know who his father was?"

    Hugo Allen Systems Analyst
  • "I wish I'd thought of suing when my university recruited me for history and then I flunked."

    Sara Gill Copy Store Clerk
  • "This younger Giuliani seems to lack the 9/11 cred that made his dad so great. This guy needs a golf 9/11."

    Dave King Newspaper Vendor

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