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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Giuliani's Son Suing Duke Over Golf

Andrew Giuliani is suing Duke University after being recruited for, then removed from, the Duke University golf team. What do you think?
  • "Does Duke even know who his father was?"

    Hugo Allen Systems Analyst
  • "I wish I'd thought of suing when my university recruited me for history and then I flunked."

    Sara Gill Copy Store Clerk
  • "This younger Giuliani seems to lack the 9/11 cred that made his dad so great. This guy needs a golf 9/11."

    Dave King Newspaper Vendor

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