Global Warming Irreversible

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Global Warming Irreversible

According to the journal Science, the human influence on the Earth's climate will be irreversible within the next 100 years. What do you think?
  • "Global warming, asteroids, earthquakes—I can only think of the effects of one disaster-movie at a time."

    Haitham Azeed
    Web Editor
  • "I'm sick of all the whiners crying about global warming. If you've got a problem with how this planet is run, why don't you go someplace else and see how you like it there?"

    John Finney
    Tour Guide
  • "Irreversible? Still?"

    Barbara Coleman
    Pharmacist
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