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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Global Warming Skeptics Growing In Numbers

Since 2008, the number of people who don't believe in global warming has doubled to 16 percent. What do you think?
  • "Probably most guys could just use another week or so to reconcile the inconsistencies of recent individual findings with the broader scientific consensus."

    Brian Fouts Bid Assessor
  • "Luckily, you don't have to care about global warming to want to reap the benefits of composting."

    Cathey Goodall Census Enumerator
  • "At least the number of Holocaust deniers only grew by a third."

    Joseph Fossey Gang-Bore Operator

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