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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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GM CEO Suggests Additional $1 Gas Tax

General Motors CEO Dan Akerson said in an interview that the auto industry would be helped more by higher gas taxes than by mandatory increased fuel efficiency. What do you think?

  • "Well, if GM's top leadership is on board, then so am I. They never make woefully self-interested, shortsighted, or commercially unsuccessful decisions."

    Todd Conte Tool Grinder
  • "Good for him. If the auto industry needs something, they need to stop being so shy about asking for help and speak right up. We're not mind readers."

    Hari Uthup Document Restorer
  • "He brings up a good point. No one gives a shit about the environment anymore. Let’s move on."

    Sonya Martinez Unemployed
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