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GM CEO Suggests Additional $1 Gas Tax

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Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.

Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

GM CEO Suggests Additional $1 Gas Tax

General Motors CEO Dan Akerson said in an interview that the auto industry would be helped more by higher gas taxes than by mandatory increased fuel efficiency. What do you think?

  • "Well, if GM's top leadership is on board, then so am I. They never make woefully self-interested, shortsighted, or commercially unsuccessful decisions."

    Todd Conte
    Tool Grinder
  • "Good for him. If the auto industry needs something, they need to stop being so shy about asking for help and speak right up. We're not mind readers."

    Hari Uthup
    Document Restorer
  • "He brings up a good point. No one gives a shit about the environment anymore. Let’s move on."

    Sonya Martinez
    Unemployed

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