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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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God Told Roberts To Quit University

Amidst charges of mishandling resources, Richard Roberts resigned from his post as president of the debt-saddled Oral Roberts University, saying God told him to step down. What do you think?
  • "Well now I'm confused, because over Thanksgiving God told me Roberts is full of shit."

    Bekkah Potter Bartender
  • "This would be a commendable move if God hadn't been seen driving around in that brand new Maserati."

    Ray Bayne Systems Analyst
  • "Looks like Roberts is applying the Christian ideal of apologizing and walking away once the shit has hit the fan."

    Alberto Rosa Furniture Assembler
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