Google Asks NSA For Security Help

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Vol 46 Issue 06

World Inspired By First Snowman To Win Luge

VANCOUVER—In what has become the most inspiring story at the XXI Winter Olympiad, the luge was won Sunday by the most unlikely of competitors: Tom, a snowman rolled together just two days earlier by the Kansy family of Vancouver.

Forgotten Assyrian God Revived To Name Sports Drink

NEW YORK—Powerade representatives said it was Nisroch's pronounced calf muscle in various depictions from the eighth century B.C. that initially attracted them to the once highly revered eagle-headed farming deity.

Rachael Flatt vs. Kim Yu-Na

It's America's Sweetheart versus the presumed sweetheart of the rest of the world as figure skaters Rachael Flatt and Kim Yu-na square off in Vancouver.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Google Asks NSA For Security Help

In light of recent hacking attacks, search engine leviathan Google has asked the National Security Agency for help securing its network. What do you think?
  • "And in return Google can help the NSA do something funny with its website logo each day."

    Kerrin Shea
    Systems Analyst
  • "Given the NSA's impressive record, they should be able to uncover valuable intelligence to help protect Google at least several months after a catastrophic attack on the company."

    Gareth Wembley
    Rim-Turning Finisher
  • "I'll come clean, before this becomes a huge problem. I confess to visiting the SuicideGirls website on my church's computer."

    Niles Ebbets
    Unemployed
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