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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Google Asks NSA For Security Help

In light of recent hacking attacks, search engine leviathan Google has asked the National Security Agency for help securing its network. What do you think?
  • "And in return Google can help the NSA do something funny with its website logo each day."

    Kerrin Shea Systems Analyst
  • "Given the NSA's impressive record, they should be able to uncover valuable intelligence to help protect Google at least several months after a catastrophic attack on the company."

    Gareth Wembley Rim-Turning Finisher
  • "I'll come clean, before this becomes a huge problem. I confess to visiting the SuicideGirls website on my church's computer."

    Niles Ebbets Unemployed
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