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Google Launches Subscription Music Service

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Google Launches Subscription Music Service

Google unveiled a new streaming music service Wednesday called Google Play Music All Access to compete against Spotify and Pandora, though it will notably not offer users a free option. What do you think?

  • “Just the other day, I was wondering where I could listen to music online but pay for it.”

    Giles Gottlieb
    Goggles Assembler
  • “I don’t like streaming services. There’s just nothing quite like owning the original MP3.”

    Ben Roope
    Election Clerk
  • “That’s great news for people like me whose pockets are bulging from excess money in a most unsightly manner.”

    Tessa Langan
    Celluloid Trimmer

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