Google Losing Steam

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

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Google Losing Steam

Google recently suffered a 13% percent drop in stock price, the sharpest drop in the history of the company. What do you think?
  • "I foresaw the company's imminent collapse when I searched for 'Dakota Fanning nude' and only got 673 hits."

    Greg O’Neill
    Receptionist
  • "Maybe if they didn't spend all their money revamping the logo for every obscure holiday, they wouldn't be in this mess."

    Bob Nouveau
    Jewelers Apprentice
  • "This surely proves what I’ve been saying all along about the Internet being a passing fad."

    Kate Carolan
    Seamstress
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