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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Google, Sprint Announce Mobile Phone Payment Service

Google announced yesterday that it would be rolling out a system in which people could pay for items with their Sprint Android phones. What do you think?

  • "Now the day's finally arrived when I can yell, 'I just bought paper towels with my phone!' at the grocery store."

    Gina Hooper Systems Analyst
  • "I don't much like this idea. What if I accidentally butt-buy a bunch of high-end salad spinners or something?"

    Leon Savage Sugar Presser
  • "I'd like to use this service to purchase a new phone, but I wouldn't want to humiliate my current phone like that."

    Brett Andridge Factory Helper

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