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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Google, Sprint Announce Mobile Phone Payment Service

Google announced yesterday that it would be rolling out a system in which people could pay for items with their Sprint Android phones. What do you think?

  • "Now the day's finally arrived when I can yell, 'I just bought paper towels with my phone!' at the grocery store."

    Gina Hooper Systems Analyst
  • "I don't much like this idea. What if I accidentally butt-buy a bunch of high-end salad spinners or something?"

    Leon Savage Sugar Presser
  • "I'd like to use this service to purchase a new phone, but I wouldn't want to humiliate my current phone like that."

    Brett Andridge Factory Helper
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