Google, Sprint Announce Mobile Phone Payment Service

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Vol 47 Issue 22

Point Of Story Apparently That Man Ate At Restaurant

ELYSBURG, PA—Friends of 33-year-old Dan Leski were subjected Tuesday to a detailed account of his recent visit to a restaurant, the sole point of which was apparently to communicate the fact that Leski had eaten food and then paid for it.

Educated Bigot That Much More Terrifying

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—After arguing with a well-read, articulate racist Wednesday, area man Daniel Truett described the experience as "bone-chilling," telling reporters it was far scarier than any encounter with an ignorant bigot ever could hav...
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Google, Sprint Announce Mobile Phone Payment Service

Google announced yesterday that it would be rolling out a system in which people could pay for items with their Sprint Android phones. What do you think?

  • "Now the day's finally arrived when I can yell, 'I just bought paper towels with my phone!' at the grocery store."

    Gina Hooper
    Systems Analyst
  • "I don't much like this idea. What if I accidentally butt-buy a bunch of high-end salad spinners or something?"

    Leon Savage
    Sugar Presser
  • "I'd like to use this service to purchase a new phone, but I wouldn't want to humiliate my current phone like that."

    Brett Andridge
    Factory Helper
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