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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Google To Open Retail Stores

Sources are reporting that Google will open a chain of brick-and-mortar stores throughout North America to sell the company’s tech products, with several flagship locations opening in major metropolitan areas in time for this year’s holiday season. What do you think?

  • “They’ll do fine. The Dress Barn started out as a search engine too, and now look at them.”

    James Frakes Drapery Cutter
  • “I hope their signs out front change every day.”

    Philip Dorn Meat Grader
  • “Google better knock this one out of the park. Otherwise, they’re fucked.”

    Geri Burton Systems Analyst
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