Google To Open Retail Stores

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Google To Open Retail Stores

Sources are reporting that Google will open a chain of brick-and-mortar stores throughout North America to sell the company’s tech products, with several flagship locations opening in major metropolitan areas in time for this year’s holiday season. What do you think?

  • “They’ll do fine. The Dress Barn started out as a search engine too, and now look at them.”

    James Frakes
    Drapery Cutter
  • “I hope their signs out front change every day.”

    Philip Dorn
    Meat Grader
  • “Google better knock this one out of the park. Otherwise, they’re fucked.”

    Geri Burton
    Systems Analyst