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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Google To Open Retail Stores

Sources are reporting that Google will open a chain of brick-and-mortar stores throughout North America to sell the company’s tech products, with several flagship locations opening in major metropolitan areas in time for this year’s holiday season. What do you think?

  • “They’ll do fine. The Dress Barn started out as a search engine too, and now look at them.”

    James Frakes Drapery Cutter
  • “I hope their signs out front change every day.”

    Philip Dorn Meat Grader
  • “Google better knock this one out of the park. Otherwise, they’re fucked.”

    Geri Burton Systems Analyst
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