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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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GOP Argues Against 9/11 Hero Care

Saying it might help people who were undeserving, Republican congressmen spoke out against a proposed health care program for rescue workers who responded to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. What do you think?

  • "Well, of course. If you extend health benefits to 9/11 heroes, next you'll be providing free lifetime benefits to veterans."

    Vadim Coronado Commercial Sales Specialist
  • "That's why I always get a monetary guarantee in writing up front before I rush to save anyone's life."

    Jason Headly Mechanic
  • "I think the fact that Republicans have worn "FDNY" T-shirts, buttons, and hats for almost 10 years now is support enough for the well-being of rescuers."

    Paula Thomson Payroll Analyst

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