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‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
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GOP Lawmakers May Break Anti-Tax Pledge

In order to reach a bipartisan deal to prevent the nation from going over the “fiscal cliff,” several top Republicans have stated they would defy their vow to oppose any and all tax revenue increases, a pledge advocated by anti-tax activist Grover Norquist. What do you think?

  • “Is a politician’s word no longer sacred?”

    Craig Storr Luggage Inspector
  • “It’s sad to see congressmen put politics ahead of some pledge they made to a strange man.”

    Bret Zorman Kosher Cutter
  • “Really? I thought we were done with all that bipartisan nonsense.”

    Libby Roose Rubber Curer

More from this section

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

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