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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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GOP Lawmakers May Break Anti-Tax Pledge

In order to reach a bipartisan deal to prevent the nation from going over the “fiscal cliff,” several top Republicans have stated they would defy their vow to oppose any and all tax revenue increases, a pledge advocated by anti-tax activist Grover Norquist. What do you think?

  • “Is a politician’s word no longer sacred?”

    Craig Storr Luggage Inspector
  • “It’s sad to see congressmen put politics ahead of some pledge they made to a strange man.”

    Bret Zorman Kosher Cutter
  • “Really? I thought we were done with all that bipartisan nonsense.”

    Libby Roose Rubber Curer

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