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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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GOP Lawmakers May Break Anti-Tax Pledge

In order to reach a bipartisan deal to prevent the nation from going over the “fiscal cliff,” several top Republicans have stated they would defy their vow to oppose any and all tax revenue increases, a pledge advocated by anti-tax activist Grover Norquist. What do you think?

  • “Is a politician’s word no longer sacred?”

    Craig Storr Luggage Inspector
  • “It’s sad to see congressmen put politics ahead of some pledge they made to a strange man.”

    Bret Zorman Kosher Cutter
  • “Really? I thought we were done with all that bipartisan nonsense.”

    Libby Roose Rubber Curer

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