GOP To Spend $10 Million Reaching Out To Minorities

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Vol 49 Issue 12

Charlotte Bobcats Get Lost While Driving To Basket

CHARLOTTE, NC—Attempting to put together an offensive play during last night’s matchup against the Detroit Pistons, the Charlotte Bobcats’ starting five got lost while driving to the basket, team sources confirmed Sunday.
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GOP To Spend $10 Million Reaching Out To Minorities

Following an “autopsy” of the party’s defeat in last year’s presidential election, the Republican National Committee earmarked $10 million to bring the party’s message to African-Americans, Hispanics, and Asian-Americans in cities throughout the country. What do you think?

  • “I’m not sure I like the idea of political groups spending money to influence election outcomes.”

    Georgina Federman
    Needle Polisher
  • “The best ideas always come out of autopsies.”

    Shane Puluti
    Hair Sample Matcher
  • “Yeah, 20 million stress balls that say ‘GOP Hearts Colored People’ ought to do it.”

    Huey Rose
    University Dean
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