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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Gores Split

Former vice president Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, are separating after 40 years of marriage. What do you think?

  • "You could really tell that they were having problems. I don't even remember seeing them kiss once since 2000."

    Amy Stewart Facilities Manager
  • "Great, now I have to compete for women with Al Gore."

    Darren Smith Pet Stylist
  • "That's not how Love Story ends. Where's her cancer?"

    Morgan Seo Drafter

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