Gospel Of Judas Found

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Gospel Of Judas Found

A 1,700-year-old papyrus document called the Gospel of Judas indicates that the apostle Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans at his request. What do you think?
  • "For 30 pieces of silver, a papyrus document can say whatever you want it to say."

    Anita Lopez
    Travel Agent
  • "First Mary Magdalene's not a whore, and now this. I'm sick of changing my entire belief system every time they find a scrap of papyrus in the middle of the desert."

    Rick Fender
    Electronics Salesperson
  • "Heresy! Heresy! Heresy! Don't interrupt me, I'm on a roll here. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah... Heresy!"

    Allen Dennison
    Systems Analyst