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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Government Approves Sale Of Powdered Alcohol

The U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has approved a new product nicknamed “Palcohol,” a powdered alcohol that can be added to water to create mixed drinks or ingested by eating or snorting. What do you think?

  • “The alcohol in bottles still works pretty well, too.”

    Cynthia Postlethwaite Funeral Planner
  • “Can they also make a powdered cheesesteak that I can inhale at 3 a.m.?”

    Donald Ripley Unemployed
  • “Sorry, but I just don’t see people snorting things for fun.”

    Matthew Flanner Application Processor

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