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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Government Collects Citizens’ Phone Records

According to a top secret court ruling issued at the request of the FBI, Verizon has been ordered to hand over mobile and landline phone records of all of its customers to the National Security Agency. What do you think?

  • “As long as the phone numbers are listed numerically and not by what they spell out, I should be fine.”

    Al Steedman Bursar
  • “I hope the FBI rewards me for my savvy use of nighttime and weekend minutes.”

    Paul Hammer Putty Glazer
  • “Is nothing top secret anymore?”

    Lisa Archerd Unemployed
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