Government Internet Surveillance Rising

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Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Government Internet Surveillance Rising

Nearly doubling the figure from three years ago, the world’s governments requested access to Google’s private data almost 21,000 times during the first half of 2012, with the United States making the most demands. What do you think?

  • “If the U.S. government wants to see how much I Google ‘America U.S.A. Excellent,’ then that’s fine by me.”

    Alton Gough Systems Analyst
  • “I didn’t realize we were allowed to do that. I’ll take my ex’s new address, please.”

    Cedric Itzhak Refinery Supervisor
  • “That’s why I always tack on ‘just kidding’ after any search for illegal stuff.”

    Vanessa Lopez Hot Roll Laminator


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