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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Government Reopens

With the United States just hours from hitting the debt ceiling, the House of Representatives voted to pass a bipartisan spending bill drafted in the Senate, funding the government until Jan. 15 and raising the debt ceiling until Feb. 7. What do you think?

  • “It feels great to be out of that crisis and back to just being on the verge of crisis.”

    Amy Renna Decontaminator
  • “At last, the nightmare I barely noticed is over.”

    Lucius Riserbato Net Maker
  • “Democracy is back, baby!”

    Wolf Kupersmith Unemployed
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