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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Government Shutdown Begins

With the House of Representatives unwilling to pass a budget without defunding the Affordable Care Act, and the Senate unwilling to accept such a demand, the United States government entered its first partial shutdown in 17 years at midnight. What do you think?

  • “After this stunt, I suspect incumbency rates will plummet to the high 80s.”

    Hans Kilroy Jug Maker
  • “The Holocaust Museum and cafeteria will be closed? It looks like us Washington, D.C. residents will be on our own for dinner.”

    Vanessa Coffrin Unemployed
  • “Finally, a little time for myself.”

    Curiosity Mars Rover

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