Government Shutdown Begins

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Government Shutdown Begins

With the House of Representatives unwilling to pass a budget without defunding the Affordable Care Act, and the Senate unwilling to accept such a demand, the United States government entered its first partial shutdown in 17 years at midnight. What do you think?

  • “After this stunt, I suspect incumbency rates will plummet to the high 80s.”

    Hans Kilroy Jug Maker
  • “The Holocaust Museum and cafeteria will be closed? It looks like us Washington, D.C. residents will be on our own for dinner.”

    Vanessa Coffrin Unemployed
  • “Finally, a little time for myself.”

    Curiosity Mars Rover


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