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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Government To Pay You $3,000 To Get Flu

As part of an effort to create a better flu vaccine, the National Institutes of Health announced it will pay 100 individuals up to $3,000 each to volunteer to have the flu virus sprayed into their nostrils so that they become sick and then observe them over the next nine days in a hospital. What do you think?

  • “Could they make it so I can eat the flu like a hamburger?”

    Mary Pinza Unemployed
  • “If you truly love getting sick like I do, you don’t do it for the money.”

    Charles Rivkin Country Club President
  • “Wow, the National Institutes of Health is loaded.”

    Howard Arrighi Wooden Frame Builder
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