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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Governor Declares April ‘Confederate Heritage Month’

Mississippi governor Phil Bryant has submitted a proposal to make April “Confederate Heritage Month” in order to “reflect upon our nation’s past” and “gain insight from our mistakes and successes.” What do you think?

  • “I love hearing news about Mississippi!”

    Henry Salter Basketball Texturer
  • “For too long we have failed to honor those brave souls who paid the ultimate price so that others couldn’t be free.”

    Randy Tull Synopsis Condenser
  • “But I already put all my Confederate flags away for the season.”

    Alice Tenney Agricultural Clerk

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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