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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Grand Theft Auto 4 Delayed

Grand Theft Auto 4, the latest installment of Take Two Interactive's extremely popular video game series, will be delayed until after Christmas of this year. What do you think?
  • "What?! I'm so fucking angry I could shoot a prostitute in the face!"

    Andy Wright Caddy
  • "Well, I suppose until then I can relax with a fine glass of wine and brush up on my Dostoevsky."

    Gus Eleusiniotis Tree Doctor
  • "That's okay. I never know what to get my friends for Martin Luther King Day, and now it looks like this video game will be out just in time."

    Janel Thayre Artist

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