Graphic Anti-Smoking Ads Effective

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

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Graphic Anti-Smoking Ads Effective

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that its recent anti-smoking ad campaign, which shows actual people who have suffered disease, paralysis, and amputations as a result of tobacco use, has been more successful than anticipated. What do you think?

  • “I don’t think it’s fair that the anti-smoking people can show all of the horrible consequences of smoking, but the tobacco companies can no longer show how cool it makes you look.”

    Brigid Randolph
    Food Truck Proprietor
  • “Big improvement over their last campaign, where they just concentrated on how good each cigarette tasted.”

    Michael Calvino
    Jailer
  • “Oh my God, you’ve seen those too? My favorite is the woman who lost a bunch of her fingers! What’s yours?”

    Robyn Pouch
    Medical Voucher Clerk
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